


coffee stains and a broken cup

by dizzy



Series: road trip mix tape 2018 (aka, the tour fics) [8]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-19
Updated: 2018-08-19
Packaged: 2019-06-29 18:42:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15735186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dizzy/pseuds/dizzy
Summary: The bus accident.





	coffee stains and a broken cup

There's a jarring rock, sharper than the sway of the bus on a normal night's drive, that rolls Phil right to the edge of his bunk. There's a sound with it that rings in Phil's ears. 

One arm flails out into air. His eyes fly open, heart already pounding. He feels yanked out of a sleep that he only just managed to really sink into a couple hours before. 

It takes a few more foggy seconds for his brain to register that what he heard was a crunch and the sound of breaking glass. He hears voices already; Marianne's panicky voice checking to see if everyone's alright, Gus distantly like he's already standing outside. 

His descent from the bunk is more like a controlled fall than anything else. His legs buckle slightly and he catches himself with a hand on the ledge. There's broken glass on the floor of the kitchenette area. "What-" His voice is froggy, and he clears his throat. "What happened?" 

Marianne's standing near the driver's seat, facing outward. She's still in sleep clothes, but somehow manages to look entirely put together anyway. "Bit of an accident," she says. "It appears we've been hit. Are you all fine back there?" 

"I'm fine," Phil says, then turns with a start. "Dan-" 

Dan doesn't reply. Phil's fingers are trembling when he yanks Dan's curtain back. He's not sure exactly what the center of the fear in his mind is, but it's suddenly all-encompassing. 

"Dan," he says again, voice urgent. 

Dan's not moving. 

Phil reaches a hand out and shakes him. The fear feels like it's about to burst in his chest now, and he's frantic as he pushes his palm against Dan's shoulder. 

"What the fuck-" Dan says, rolling over and glaring at Phil. "I was fucking sleeping." 

"Oh my god." Phil feels like a popped balloon, the adrenaline not decelerating at any kind of normal pace but with a sickeningly suddenly burst of it. "You're okay." 

"Of course I'm okay." Dan is staring at him. "What-" 

"Accident," Phil says. "There's been an accident." 

*

Phil stands outside the bus in bare feet. 

It’s funny how it’s balmy even at this early hour. He crosses his arms over his chest anyway, because it feels like the thing to do.

He served no purpose here. Gus has it handled, on the phone to his insurance and sorting out the police to come file all the reports that need to be filed. 

Marianne’s helping the shaken couple that were behind the wheel. Phil wonders if he should make them some tea, but then he thinks that they’ve not got any disposable cups because Dan wants to use less plastics and Phil doesn’t want to send them off with one of their mugs because he likes their little tour bus mug collection and then he realizes he doesn’t even know which one broke. 

He hopes it wasn't one of his favorites. 

*

Phil cleans up the broken up. It's a plain white one, but there's something still sad about the ceramic chunks littering the floor. 

It's not even six in the morning. His hands are shaking so badly he drops one piece a second time, watching it split into even more fragments. He's just - tired. He's so tired. 

Dan is still in his bunk. Phil's not sure if he's gone back to sleep or if he's just on the internet. He walks up to it no less than four times, even reaching out to touch the curtain once before he leaves it alone. 

At least one of them can sleep. 

* 

He walks back outside when the police arrive. 

He still can't actually do anything. He feels useless, like he's taking up space, but he wants to hear the conversations, he wants to know what's going on. 

Dan finally comes out. He has bedhead, still wearing his kitten sleep shirt and jogging bottoms, shoes on. 

He stands next to Phil, shoulder to shoulder. "Huh," he says, staring at the mangled car. "They okay?" 

"Yeah," Phil says. They are - somehow, amazingly. 

Dan yawns into his hand. "This gonna take a while?" 

"Probably," Phil says. 

"Let's go get breakfast." 

*

An Uber picks them up twenty minutes later. 

Phil hopes no one sees them like this. He's not properly done his hair and he feels like there's probably exhaustion etched onto his skin. The camera always picks that up. 

He pokes at his pancakes. They're soggy now with butter and syrup. He's been more focused on the coffee, giving no concern to a burnt mouth and swallowing down half the mug in two long drinks. 

These mugs look similar to the broken one. He nudges the handle with his fingertips. Bit sturdier. Probably wouldn't have broken so easily. 

"You okay?" Dan asks. 

They haven't spoken much. Sometimes they don't; that's fine. There's more than words between them. 

Phil means to say he's fine. He means to comment that he needs more butter for between the pancakes, or to ask if that's what Dan is wearing to the meet and greet or if he's going to change later, or to comment on the weather outside. 

Instead what comes out of his mouth is, "You really didn't wake up?" 

Dan shrugs. "Not really. I guess I might have felt a bump but we hit a lot of bumps." 

The waitress comes back refills the coffee. It's overly full now. Phil's hands are still shaking, and when he raises it to his mouth for another sip some sloshes over the side. 

Dan grabs a paper napkin and has it mopped up before Phil's drink even touches the table surface again. He slides another napkin under the mug. "Put milk and sugar in it. You know you hate it black." 

It's such a funny thing to be reminded of, but Dan's right. He adds the milk and sugar. The coffee tastes much better. 

* 

Everything's cleared away when they make it back to the bus. The police are gone and the car's been towed. 

Dan studies the small dent where the collision happened. It's barely noticeable, unless you know where to look. "This bus," Dan says, in a complimentary tone, "is proper thicc." 

He pats it like he's telling it that it's had a job well done, then goes inside. 

Phil stands there staring at it, then he raises his phone to take a picture. It's not like it's a memory he's keen to hold on forever - or even something that'll probably stand out in a month or so - but he'll want to show his mum, if nothing else. 

*

The green room is like every other green room, plain white walls and a sofa. 

"You should nap," Dan says. "You were up early." 

Phil does try. He stretches out on the sofa, feet dangling over the edge. But his mind's eye is a movie on constant loop. 

"Dan?" He says, not opening his eyes. He just trusts that Dan's nearby somewhere.

"Yeah?" Dan answers. 

"You really didn't wake up this morning?" 

"You've asked me that like three times," Dan says. He sounds annoyed, but like fake-annoyed, not real-annoyed. "No, I didn't wake up." 

Phil doesn't ask again. 

*

They're a sweaty mess after the show, like they always are. 

They have their after show ritual; too much food and then a movie. Sometimes they're joined by other people, sometimes they're not. 

Tonight they're not. 

"Why was it the scariest part?" Dan asks. 

"What?" Phil's confused. 

"My not waking up," Dan says. "You said that on stage." 

"It just was," Phil says, shrugging. He feels uncomfortable with this kind of spotlight, no matter how small, no matter who it is. Even Dan. "I don't know." 

"It wasn't like... a real accident," Dan says. "Not for us. I'd have woken up if something was really wrong." 

"Maybe," Phil says. 

Dan is staring at him now. "You're weird," he says, and reaches out to squeeze Phil's thigh. "I'm fine." 

"I know you're fine," Phil says. 

Dan's smiling now. "I'm really fine." 

"Dan. I know." Phil tries to scoot away but Dan won't let him, laughing and grabbing him. Phil laughs back, because Dan's definitely the weird one here. 

He lets Dan manhandle him into a kiss. "I'm fine," Dan says, one final time. 

Nothing's change. Nothing was said he didn't already know. But something feels lighter in Phil's chest now. 

He leans back into Dan. "Good."

**Author's Note:**

> [read and reblog on tumblr](http://alittledizzy.tumblr.com/post/177171975860/title-coffee-stains-and-a-broken-cup-rating-pg)


End file.
